As of lately, it’s hard to miss the glaring pessimism and negativity in the writing and publishing spaces. From viral TikToks about authors sabotaging fellow writers to Threads where an international bestseller feels the need to publicly blast an indie author, the landscape has seen better days. Anyone new entering this space would be well within their right mind to feel apprehensive, if nothing else, to join the conversation and the community. I say all of this to acknowledge the moment we’re in, but it serves as a preface to my interview with Ann Napolitano only to say that she represents none of these things.  

In a moment where the loudest authors in the room appear to dominate, the Hello Beautiful bestseller is reserved, if not outright shy. In an industry glorifying followers, virality and controversy, Napolitano’s steady commitment to the craft that led her to be the 100th pick of Oprah’s Book Club and go on to sell a million copies, defies that clutter. 

For any fellow introvert quietly typing out words–hopeful, but hesitant–Ann breathes both fresh air and seasoned wisdom into a space that has grown overly concerned with itself. She takes little credit where credit is most certainly due, attributing more of her success to dogged determination than to talent. She provides modest advice regarding practical life choices and a reckoning with the financial realities of an artistic career, rather than bombastic claims of overnight success. 

Though it is easy to get swept away in her accolades as a New York Times bestseller and so much more, she never strays from a completely grounded outlook on writing as a chosen vocation. 

Stubborn Commitment to the Craft, Not the Outcome

When asked directly about her success and requested to look back on what led her to her current achievements, there was a particular attribute she assigned to her accomplishments.

“I think I’m innately stubborn. I don’t like to give up if it’s something I want to do. I feel like that is one of the most useful traits for a young or beginning writer to have. If you can try to be stubborn and not give up, that will take you a long way.”

We frequently hear stories about a college student who wrote a trilogy while in school and went on to become a bestseller or the shocking claims of writing a door stop of a fantasy book in a matter of months. Stories that, while fascinating, leave most aspiring authors feeling inadequate as they stumble around in the dark. In opposition to these sensationalized stories, Ann offers a different perspective. She talks about writing two books in her twenties that would never find a publisher, despite landing an agent for one of them. Napolitano speaks candidly about the crushing rejection of wanting to be a published author and facing rejection as well as embarrassment. 

“When I was 27-years-old I hadn’t published anything and everyone knew I wanted to be a writer so I felt like a huge failure.”

Something of a depression took over in the wake of her early attempts, but the lesson she gleaned from it is something all writers need to hear as they are going through the process of trying to get published. 

“I got really sad [after facing these rejections] and so I sat down to write. While I was writing I felt better, I felt this foggy sadness I had been living in clear, but I did it because I wanted to feel better, not because I thought what I was writing was going to be published. I climbed out of the sadness of failing at writing by writing. That was a really revelatory moment for me because I had been looking at writing as working towards a destination–which most writers do–and the destination is publication. It was proving to the people in my life that I was supposed to do this. And that I was talented. And that this was who I was. And having failed, and realizing that the act of writing turned on lights inside of me like nothing else did, I realized that I was going to keep writing whether I published anything or not and a huge weight lifted.”  

In a society that over commodifies art and over glorifies sweeping capitalistic success, we’re in desperate need of the reminder that there is so much more to a creative life than “making it.” And the pursuit of that end goal can actually keep us from achievement. Ann reflects on what life would have been like if she hadn’t kept writing for the love of it.

“If I had quit, it boggles my mind to think, I could have quit at any point and not only would I have not been successful, but more so I wouldn’t have had the experience of writing Dear Edward and I wouldn’t have had the experience of writing Hello Beautiful and that has enriched my life so much that I’m deeply grateful that I’m stubborn.”

The story she sat down to write after facing rejection, did, in fact, end up being her first published book, Within Arms Reach. A novel that has now been re-released in the wake of Hello Beautiful’s meteoric ascension. 

On Being a Realistic Dreamer

It can often feel like in order to pursue a dream, you have to be prone to spontaneity and wild acts of ambitious leaping. Surely there are some, perhaps many, success stories that look like that, but not all lives can accommodate an all-or-nothing pursuit of a passion. 

In this regard, Ann offers another round of practical, manageable advice for those with strong desire, but perhaps limited time and resources.

When battling health issues…

It started in her twenties when she was dramatically diminished by illness, fighting Epstein Barr disease in college. Though it was a painful lesson, she found a way to alchemize the experience into honing her purpose:

“I was very shaped by being ill in my early twenties. But that was actually a very clarifying time for me. I was so shy and I had no faith in my own ability as a writer. I knew I loved to write, but I was going to go into publishing and write on the side for myself. But getting sick like that made me realize that life can change on a dime. At the age of twenty you don’t usually realize that, you think you’re immortal. My friends were doing keg stands all around me and I had two hours of energy a day. So it made me realize that a) writing was the thing I wanted to do with my two hours of energy and then b) that I wanted to live the life I wanted to live, not the life I felt like I should live. And that made me choose to be a writer in a whole-hearted, out loud way.”

Though she emphatically acknowledges that trying to make art and be creative while battling illness–physical, mental or otherwise–”sucks”, she knows it was a life-changing moment in her writing career.

“Illness or hardship or depression can be very clarifying. You can access truths about what you actually want and what’s important to you in a way that’s difficult when you’re thriving and your life is noisy.”

When fulfilling the need to earn a living…

Though Ann’s eyes have always been on writing, she, like all of us, had to make a living long before books ever paid the bills. One of her noteworthy jobs was being a personal assistant to Sting. A job that kept her busy seven days a week, but allowed her to write when they were touring out of the country, a balance she made work with her writing. 

While in vocal pursuit of her passion, she drew the worried attention of her father who asked her to take a career placement exam that determined she should be a park ranger. A calling she admits, was never remotely on her radar or in her plans. Her father’s attempts to save her from becoming a starving artist, however, doesn’t appear to be something she resented. In fact, she meets his and any other loved ones’ concerns with her trademark compassion and understanding that make her books so compelling. 

“I have a lot of sympathy for parents who have children that want to go into the arts, in one form or another, because they want you to have benefits and to feel like you’re going to be okay and to feel like you’re going to have a regular income. Those are very understandable wants for a parent who is probably worried they’re going to have to support you into your later adulthood.” 

In this, we can all take a lesson in quiet understanding and allowing for two things to exist at once. Authors, or artists of any kind, will draw concern, unsolicited advice and ire even from those around them, especially loved ones. You can both acknowledge this sincere attempt to save you from hardship while also continuing to drive towards the future you envision.

When raising children…

In her thirties, Napoitano and her husband, raising their two sons, made a conscientious choice to live “small.” And while it may not be the flashiest advice, I found it to be a breath of fresh air that an author who had achieved so much could acknowledge that sometimes success starts with very practical decisions. As the next generation of writers faces the economic hardships of today’s reality, it might be the most important advice she offers. 

“We lived as lean as we could. We made our life as small as possible so that it wasn’t so expensive that it required a big job. We could make ends meet and I could have time to write and do the thing I wanted to do. And that’s a deliberate decision that some people are comfortable with and some people are not.” 

When we ask high-achieving authors for writing advice, we want the golden ticket. We want the “this is what makes a bestseller advice”. But what we need is someone like Ann to tell us that in order to be a writer, you have to have time to do the job of learning, failing and creating while making no money doing so. And that in order to do that, you might have to build a life that is less Instagrammable and more manageable. Before the craft advice, before the editing tips, before the query letter samples, what we all need is time and space to flounder and flourish learning to do this thing. 

A Magical and Beautiful Life

While Napolitano presents an airy, lightness about her that I think can only come from people who are living out their true purpose, you never doubt for a second the awe she still experiences at getting to do this life. 

She states plainly:

“I don’t feel like a successful writer. And perhaps no successful writers do.”

Laughing, she adds that when people remark on her success, her general reaction is “That’s so nice.”

Regardless of how undeniable her accomplishments are, it’s abundantly clear that this is not why she continues to pursue this profession. 

At one point, she discusses a professor who implored her and the other students to do literally anything else, besides writing, if it was within them to do so. But cushioned the blow by saying if they couldn’t imagine doing anything other than writing, to prepare for a “magical and beautiful life.”

And it seems that’s what Ann has created and what she hopes for, for every writer. It isn’t a conspicuous or overly audacious one, in her eyes, it’s just a life being lived by a person who has known their purpose a very long time and pursued it to what many would deem the pinnacle. I had a question in my notes about “How do you set a goal for your writing career when you’ve reached such heights?” And I ultimately decided not to ask it because by the end, I believed wholeheartedly I knew the answer and to ask it would mean I wasn’t listening. Because it became abundantly clear that Ann doesn’t write with goals in mind. She writes truly for the love of it and would do so regardless of achievement.

“[Writing] is a crazy thing to want to do with your life,” she says. But it is what her professor said it would be. “A hard, magical and beautiful life. That’s been my experience. It’s an act of love and trying to expand your own boundaries and trying to become the largest and most capable person you can be. Really meeting your potential and who you actually are.”

So whether you’re an aspiring author feeling like the things you want are too far away, or a working author, wondering when it’s going to be your turn, take a page from Ann Napolitano’s 25-year pursuit. Recognize that to choose this life is to choose something well outside of fame and fortune. And trust, that if done with heart and love that it can lead you to a magical, beautiful place you never could have imagined. In Ann’s case, standing in your foyer on your way to take out the garbage when Oprah Winfrey decides to call you personally.

The writing world can feel like a competition and that may be what is fueling some of the vitriol. That and an unhealthy dose of exposure to the underbelly of publishing via social media platforms. In this climate, Ann serves as a keen reminder that embracing the writing journey for all that it can be, lies within.

“I used to not speak nicely to myself about my work. I used to be really hard on myself. And I don’t do that anymore. I’m so grateful to get to do this, even before I was ‘successful’. I’m so grateful I get to sit down and try to create a world.”

Let this be the rallying call for all storytellers, that the truly beautiful comes from a deep sense of gratitude for the work and perhaps we can create an atmosphere filled with stories our world so desperately needs right now.