London Sperry is a New York based author of romantic comedies full of heart, humor, and hope. A lover of storytelling, she received her Bachelor of Fine Arts in Musical Theatre from The Pennsylvania State University before finding her true passion for writing. Passion Project is her first novel.

Whenever I crack open my laptop with a fresh new idea bouncing around in my little skull—one I’m sure is worthy of 80,000 words, months of effort, and the torture of sinking my highest hopes and dreams into it—my first thought as I face the blank page is usually something to the effect of: This is going to suck. I’m a bad writer, I can’t perform miracles, and I turn around and go home with my tail between my legs. Don’t forward my mail! I won’t need it in hell!

I realized long ago that these thoughts and feelings are never going away. I’m never going to wrestle negative thoughts, self-doubt, and fear out of my brain—it’s just not a possibility for me. So I’ve come up with a couple of easy tips that get me back to my desk, day after day, to drag my book across the finish line kicking and screaming.

1. Accept that you are not a reliable narrator

We all, as writers, know what this means. Every single one of us has read a story with this type of narrator. They tell us one thing while doing another. They give us facts that are warped by their own emotions and point of view. They do treacherous things behind our backs, swearing up and down that they are to be trusted. Sometimes, they flat out lie. This same principal can be applied to our inner voices as well. We are not reliable narrators when it comes to our own writing. We come to the page with a whole lot of baggage and core belief systems that keep us from seeing the forest for the trees. Whenever I get one of those nasty thoughts in the back of my head, saying you’re awful at this and you should just give up, I tell myself that that voice is not a reliable narrator, and cannot be trusted. I can’t turn it off, but I sure as hell can ignore it. Now, if the voice tells you to cut back on adverbs or filler words, maybe they’ve got a point. But don’t tell the voice that.

2. Recognize that your work might be bad

It would be nice if we were all geniuses birthing picture perfect first drafts that require no editing into the world, but that’s just not the reality here. And I know I just said if your inner voice tells you you’re an awful writer don’t listen to it, but this is different. This is when you’re seeing objectively, your head is clear, and you realize that your work needs work. For most of us, our writing will sometimes be bad. Awful, even! And that’s okay! It is absolutely essential that this does not stop us. Because the only way to make something bad good is to keep working on it. It’s a cliché, but a cliché for a reason: You can’t edit a blank page. You cannot make magic where there was nothing. The only way to guarantee that you will not achieve your dreams is not to write. So write—even if it sucks. You can fix it in post.

3. Take power from your fear by fueling your desire

An old acting teacher once told me that your desire to be an actor must be greater than your fear of failure in order for it to work, and this is something that really stuck with me. As it turns out, my fear of failure was a lot greater than my desire to be an actor, and so, I quit. When I started writing, there was no doubt in my mind—the desire to write a book I’m proud of far outweighed my fear of failure. So I did it! Whenever I want to curl up and cry and hide my face in a pillow, I remind myself of what I want and why I want it, and that’s usually enough to drag my sorry butt out of bed.

4. Face the fact that you’re going to do it anyway, so you might as well do it scared

The first time I sent a copy of PASSION PROJECT to a beta reader, I sat on the email for days. I hemmed and hawed, feeling so anxious for a new person to read it, to judge it, to tell me where it needed help, where it was bad, and even where it was good. I remember so vividly the moment I realized that no matter how many times I thought about how scary it was, no matter how many times I redrafted the email or pretended it wasn’t happening, I was still going to send it. There was no way I wasn’t going to send it. My fear was a trap set to slow me down, but not to stop me—because the end result was inevitable. I was going to do it whether or not I was scared, so I might as well just…do it scared. I sent the email moments later.

Doing it scared is the philosophy that carries me through my writing. I cringe through every awful word. I close my laptop in shame at the end of every writing session. I text all my friends about how awful my WIP currently is and how hopeless I am as a writer. And then I wake up the next day, open my laptop, and do it again. Because my desire to write is greater than my fear of it. I want it more than I fear it, and for that simple fact, I truly am hopeless. And so, I suspect, are you.

So—through all the mean thoughts, the scary edits, the imposter syndrome, and the booby traps, I say: go forth in fear, and do it scared.

Passion Project by London Sperry

Bennet Taylor is stuck in a rut, grieving her first love and feeling lost in her twenties—until an unexpected encounter with Henry Adams changes everything. What starts as a friendship-based pact to explore new passions in New York City turns into a journey of adventure, healing, and self-discovery. As Bennet rediscovers joy and connection, she must confront her past and decide if she’s ready to embrace something new, in this heartfelt and witty novel about finding purpose and love.

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Photo credit: Erin Fortin